Harmonizing Your Love and Money

“The greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy to tell others how much they love them while they’re still alive.”- Unknown

February is Special – It is Heart month! And the two big events celebrated this month are the Heart Ball and Valentine’s Day both are valuable expressions of Love

Valentine’s Day honor its patron the Italian priest Saint Valentine and is celebrated by exchanging tokens of affection. As you exchange candies,flowers or whatever is your heart’s way of expressing this feeling don’t forget to help those who were unfortunate to have started out with a broken heart, the kids for whom the Heart Ball hosted by the Sir Victor Sassoon Heart Foundation is their biggest fund raiser.

So this month be sure and use these opportunities to affect the life of your love ones and those around you in very special ways!

And although you may be madly in Love and planning on having an exciting time with the one you love this Valentine’s Day, you must admit that there are very few combinations more perplexing than love and Money. In fact, the only more perplexing combination is expecting two persons from different social, religious, professional and economical backgrounds to come together and create a successful marriage.

Even you had your doubt and didn’t think the couple at the last wedding you attended stood a chance at creating a successful life together.

Let’s look at the combination, it usually goes like this- she is a professional; he is not – But that’s love! While he is spending all the money he can get his hands on, she is stretching her dollar so that she can do and save as much as she can.

This coupled with the fact that whiles your bodies may experience intimacy, your goals and money usually don’t. You feel that even in marriage your money is still single and nobody’s business but yours. Not a good recipe for success.

That’s why money or should I say the lack of money is among the leading contributors to divorce and it is little wonder, because financial decisions so often are charged with emotions that goes well beyond the money.

Unlike days gone by when the husband work and the wife kept the home, finances have become even more stressful and when you’re starting out with different perspectives on spending and saving it can only lead to trouble.

But even if you’ve been married for a while and experiencing love issues because of your money issues, don’t despair -there is hope! And as my Valentine gift to you, here are three suggestions to help you get a grip on your money and love.

Talk About It

The key is to start by talking about it. I know it is difficult to get men to talk about finances but men you’ve got to talk. You have to talk openly and honestly. Most times the problem is that persons are not talking about the real issues but pointing finger and placing blame. So move away from the blame game and start addressing the real issues. Yes there will be difference but use these as the starting point for developing a plan for your financial future as a couple. One thing is certain it will get you thinking about your future.

Plan for It

Once you’re talking, then you can take the next step- plan your financial future together. Life will not simply happen. It will only happen to the extent that you have planned it. By planning, you will be able to address any lifestyle differences and decide on how you will adjust to compensate for these. “Taking Control of Your Money”workbook is an excellent planning tool.

If you are in debts, then plan how you will pay off those debts. If you’re not saving enough then put a plan in place to increase your savings. If you’re not earning enough then plan to develop yourself so that you can earn more. Maybe you want your own home then plan how you will make it happen. So go ahead share your dreams and put your goals for your financial security in writing.

During your planning you should talk about:

  1. Having adequate Life insurance coverage and any existing policies
  2. All other insurances e.g. Auto, Home & Disability
  3. Medical or health concerns
  4. Income and other employee benefits including group insurance or pension plans
  5. Wills or Trusts preparation
  6. Investment currently owned e.g. real estate, stock & bonds
  7. Outstanding loans and credit facilities including credit cards
  8. Current bank and savings accounts

When you’re done, you should have a complete and accurate listing of all your income, debts, assets and real property. This is not the time to keep secrets, as this information is what you’ll need to plot the way forward.

Live It

Once you’ve done your planning its time to work. But don’t forget it’s also time to live. Don’t spend your time and energy worrying but rather start enjoying your life now. Don’t wait until you accomplish your dreams to begin living, live now. You’ve only got one life so don’t let it pass you by. Be sure to enjoy each moment of each day because it’s all you have.

So go ahead and inject some financial reality into your romantic dreams. If you talk about it, plan for it and live it you’ll be able to avoid and simplify the perplexing issues that come with love and money. Money can’t buy happiness but it sure helps you enjoy the life you want!

“No matter what, no one will improve your circumstances for you. You’ve got to do it for yourself.”- A Wise man

Copyright © 2009 – Glenn S. Ferguson